


A place where i belong

by zorides



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Winterhawk - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Clint Needs a Hug, Everyone Needs A Hug, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 17:56:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7943854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zorides/pseuds/zorides
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything goes to hell for Clint when a mission goes wrong and a team member ends up in a coma, he is blamed for things he hasn’t done and the team wants him out for good.<br/>He gets called to go on his last mission as an Avenger accompanied by Bucky Barnes; to search an abandoned Hydra base.</p><p>-or - </p><p>A story about walking tragedy Clint Barton the that touched something he really shouldn't have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A place where i belong

"How the hell did I end up going on a mission with you?” Bucky kicked the door in, not bothering to look to see if the archer was following him.

Clint shrugged and kept walking after him, being careful not to step on anything that could make noise and bring them unwelcome attention.

“Just focus on the mission, let's copy all the damm information on that drive, burn this place, get back to the jet and the hell away from here, so I can get away from you.”

Clint chose not to respond to this comment as well. He knew that Steve was in a coma because of his stupidity, and he knew that the only reason he was on this mission with Barnes in first place was because Natasha was away busy somewhere, and there was no one qualified enough on the team to go out for that mission but him. He’d already found a place to live and his retirement money from shield was going to last for awhile. That's what he’d told the team after two weeks of no change from Steve, and no one even tried to change his mind and make him stay.

Clint fucking Barton was responsible for the death of Captain America.

The two of them scanned the base carefully, looking for the control room.

“This way” Clint signed, gesturing at a staircase. 

Bucky rolled his eyes but followed his lead. The control room was a big, full of dated computers and machines, Bucky walked inside after he made sure the room was clear, and sat at one of the screens, plugging in the drive and typing fast on the keyboard.

“Don't touch anything...I wanna get out alive from this place…” Bucky mumbled and kept typing.

Cint couldn't stand it anymore, he kicked a some random metallic junk thing, making it skid across the floor and hit the wall.

“I know that it's my goddamn fault Steve is in this state, I know it's my goddamn fault I didn't listen to his orders and that it's my fault that goddam Hydra agent had a clear shot to put down the jet. After this mission is over you won't have to see your best friend's killer anymore, I promise.”

Clint paced as he gave his rant, until he stumbled and slipped. He tried to stabilize himself by grabbing another machine, but that one came to life the moment his hand touched it. A big portal opened on the floor and started to swallow everything around it. Bucky turned around in his seat and cursed.

“I fucking told you not to touch anything!” He yelled grabbing onto heaviest item he could find.  
He had to find a way to get Barton out of there before it was too late. He hated the guy and he made sure reminding him every minute he's been around him, but he couldn't let him die, he couldn't be responsible for this.

“Bucky!” Clint yelled, holding on to a shaking table trying to prevent himself from getting swallowed as well. Bucky got closer, searching the room for the best way to get barton for a safe place.

“Come on” he said, moving as close as he could and offering his hand. Clint was shaking, his blue eyes wide.

“Come on hold my hand, it’s getting stronger...and you won't..”

But Clint didn't hear the end of Bucky’s sentence, it was too late.

___________________________________________________________________

The first thing Clint felt when he woke up was pain all over his body, except he couldn't feel his left/right leg. He was lying on the floor in a place he didn’t recognize, and if all of this wasn't enough his hearing aids weren't functioning well.

Has he been kidnapped?  
What the hell happened to him after the fall?  
Did Barnes got out of there alive?

He could feel footsteps getting close, but could do nothing to protect himself, he took a breath slowly and started saying his goodbyes to the world.

The door opened slowly and a man entered the room. Clint could hear the click of a gun being cocked and closed his eyes.

“It can't be possible, who the hell are you?” A broken voice spoke, it was familiar but Clint couldn't place it. He just wanted this to end, he waited for the man to pull the trigger

“Pops what's going on?” Small steps got close now, a voice that belong to a little child.

“Who is he?” The child tried again.

“Not now Alex, go to your room!” The man's voice was frustrated and urgent. The boy obeyed, leaving and closing the door after him.

“Talk! Who the hell are you, are you Hydra? You jerks making fun of me by bringing an imposter who looks like...” the man put the gun closer to Clint's head, who could feel the cold metal, but he still couldn't bring himself to open his eyes.

The man kicked him. A mixed blessing, at least he could feel his legs again but it revealed it to be broken. Clint knew he had no other chance but telling the truth. There was no rescue party coming for him.

He was all alone now.

“No...not Hydra” he said loudly, he had to make sure he could hear himself talk.

“Then who?” The man yelled, another strike to his legs, a stronger one.

“Clint...Clint Barton” he managed to say before darkness took him again.

___________________________________________________________________

Clint couldn't hear at all now. Scared, he touched his ears. His hearing aids were gone. He opened his eyes and found himself lying on a bed, at least not the cold floor anymore.

Clint knew nothing about his captor, who he’s working with or what the hell is he’s going to do with him after he gets what he want from him. Someone approached him, a man with messy brown hair. Well built body and a metal arm that could belong to only one person.

“Bucky?”

“You're dead.” He said, Clint reading his lips.

“Not yet…” he mumbled. He couldn't read Bucky's expression, but no one ever could, except Steve.

Shit, Steve.

“Steve, is he alive?” Clint asked, staring right into Bucky's eyes.

“You are dead.” Bucky repeated again. “You fell from a goddam building, you got shot right in the head.” He seemed angry and desperate but it didn't look like he was gonna hit him again.

“Ha..I'm sorry but I caught none of that, deaf you see, and someone took my hearing aids so…”

Bucky sighed and opened a box that were placed on the nightstand, took a pair of hearing aids and clipped them for him.

“Why are you..”

“I’m asking the questions here. Who the fuck are you?” He raised his metal arm and Clint flinched, ready to take a beating. When one never came he looked right at him again.

“Bucky come on, I know we aren't on good terms but it's not the time to joke around. I fell through this damn portal and..”

Shit, the portal.

“Portal?”He could hear confusion and disappointment in Bucky’s voice

“We went out for a mission, my last one as an Avenger, cause Steve got hurt because of me and no one wanted me on the team anymore and..you were there with me when the portal opened and you reached out your hand for me but it was too far and I couldn't make it and..”

And it hit him, the damn portal was a gate to another dimension. Clint could feel his body shaking, and suddenly breathing became a very hard thing for him to do. A soft hand touched his cheek and stroked it gently.

“Clint, look at me ok? Just look into my eyes and breath with me. I’m right here keeping you safe, breath for me okay doll?” Clint did as he was told to, looking right into Bucky's teary eyes. Barnes was crying, because of him?

“He did die here right? That's why you're crying. Steve died in this world and it's my fault too.” His voice were shaking.

“Clint” Bucky said softly “it wasn't Steve that died in this universe, it was you.”  
___________________________________________________________________

After a couple days things started to make sense to him. Fucking Hydra had the technology to send people to other universes and Clint out of all people got the damn machine to work and swallow him. How did he always manage to get himself into this situations? He, Clint Barton is a walking tragedy.

His leg was still injured and getting up from bed wasn't an option. Once Bucky believed him that he wasn't Hydra or another villain he went all mother-hen on him, he made sure to take care of all Clint’s injuries and feed him three times a day. Since getting up from bed by himself to get the bathroom was impossible Bucky had even had to help with that, it had been a very embarrassing experience for him. Maybe it was the guilt since he’d been so rough with him when he first popped into his house.

The door opened slowly and a little sandy blond head peeked in, the child’s gray eyes looked at him curiously, not daring to get closer.

“I don’t eat little kids ya’ know. Come on get in.” Clint said amused. The child hesitated at first but then came in and closed the door behind him.

The boy, Alex, hesitated but got closer and sat next to him.

“Why..why pops is mad at you?” He asked quietly.

“He’s not mad at me he just..thought I was a bad guy that came to hurt you that's it.”

“But you’re hurt because of him, he hurt you..and you can't be bad…” Tears filled his eyes staring right into Clint's soft ones.

“Well he didn't know it back then sweetpee, don’t worry about it ok? Your Pops is not a bad man.” Alex then surprised Clint when he climbed into the bed and hugged him.

“You are such a special child, do you know that?”Clint said hugging him back.

“Are you gonna stay here with us?” He asked looking at Clint again.

“I don't belong here.” He answered sadly, no matter how much he wanted it to be his life, the place he could belong to, the place where he belonged.

___________________________________________________________________

A few weeks pass with Clint healing slowly and he falls into a routine. Wake up early, go out for patrol, being extra careful to not let anyone see him, after all, this worlds version of him had died, and everyone knew the face of the dead avenger. Then make coffee. He had started to find a place in Bucky's and Alex’s lives. 

This morning, after his patrol, he returns to an empty house. It's Monday and Alex had to go to school, and as for Bucky, he told Clint he worked for Shield, doing not so risky stuff for them. As Clint turned on the coffee maker a familiar buzz came from the living room. The Avengers comm, Bucky must have left it here. Curious, Clint played the message.

“Alex’s trackers have been turned off and he's no longer at school. Tony has checked the CCV all over the place and all we know is that Hydra is involved. I need everyone on base ASAP.” 

Steve’s voice, high and clear, and made Clint shiver, but he had no time for that. Dead or not he had to be there with them and help find Alex. He looked in Bucky’s room for weapons and what he found deep in the closet made his eyes go wide and his heart beat faster then it should, his old gear, bow and arrows.

Clint made it to Avengers base and entered with his old code, the same one as the other world. As he walked out of the elevator he was welcomed with a few shocked faces, shit he have thought about this before, what the hell is he gonna tell the team? Surprise, I'm alive! Up until now he'd let Bucky keep his presence a secret, but now he needed to help find Alex and that was more important. There was never any easy options for him, ever.

“Barto..Clint what...you..we buried you..it can't be..” It was Tony, the first time Clint ever heard the man at a loss for words.

“Funny Tony, I thought you were a genius. I’m not your Clint, I’m from another dimension but enough about me. We're here to save Alex, so..what's the plan?”

“The first step is you going back home Barton. You are not part of this team.” Bucky walked into the conference room looking right at Clint, his face showing his annoyance.

“What the hell are you talking about? You need all the help you can get to find Alex. I’m not going anywhere and its final” he stood, his feet planted, determined.

“It's still a no. Steve come on say something, help me here.” He sound desperate, but Steve said nothing.

‘He can go with us. But he is gonna help from the jet, no action for him.” It was Natasha who spoke, not moving her eyes from Clint. He wasn’t sure if she thought he was dangerous or feared he would disappear and leave them again.

It seemed like team had a lot to say, about Clint sudden appearance, about Bucky's kid being kidnapped by Hydra, about the fact they don't know what to do, about wat Hydra had for them this time. But they kept it to themselves. Tony, Natasha and Banner typed rapidly on the screens, Steve and Bucky worked on tactics while Clint was left alone. He was pretty much used to it right now, his team excluding him. This team wasn't any different, maybe

Tony found the truck the people who had taken Alex. They loaded up and got on their way the ride been one of the most awkward one clint had to participate in. And that's saying a lot because, hell, he is Clint Barton after all. He sat at the farthest place from everyone, hoping to get some time to gather his thoughts, but he wasn't alone for long, Natasha came close and sat beside him.

“It is not like you sitting quietly Barton, it's never been you. What's wrong?” she asked not taking her eyes off him.

“I'm not your Clint, already told you that Nat.” He sighed and closed his eye “I know it's weird for you alright? It's weird for me too. This world is so different then mine.”

“You aren't close, you and the other avengers from your world. What happened that made them exile you from the team?”

“Leave me alone Natasha please, I'm not in the mood.” He sighed and hoped she got the message and would go sit in the co pilot chair beside Tony.

Bucky appeared beside him then, he looked angry like he was going to punch him any minute with the heavy scary metal arm of his.

“They blame you for his death don’t they?” His voice shook a bit, he got even closer and sat beside him, asking again “They blame you for Steve, they made you take all the blame..”

Steve looked over at them them, curious but didn’t getting involved, thank God for small mercies.

“It's complicated, lets leave it for another time Buck, please?” He’d started to get close to this Bucky, but he couldn't bring himself to talk, to tell him what he had done, because then this Bucky will hate him too...and..

“But...what about me, other me?” He sounded desperate to know, so Clint took a breath and spit it out.

“Well..let's say he made my life a living hell...please let's not talk about it now” he begged again. 

The pain in his leg came back again, he’d forgotten to take his medicine that morning, all the mess that happened made him forget completely about his injuries. He couldn't help the little whimper that came out, he didn’t want want Bucky see his weakness, but it was too late-

“You are staying here in the jet, don’t you dare get out and join the fight. Is that clear?”

“Whatever...just leave me alone..” he mumbled.

The jet started its descent and the team got ready for action. The area seemed to be deserted. There was no one and nothing for miles, but Steve insisted they go to look anyway. The doors opened then and everyone got to work, going out to search the area, well everyone but Clint. He took the pilot set and searched by himself. After looking through the areas maps something clicked. He knew where they held Alex.

He tried to reach the team via commes but all he could hear was static noises.

“Shit” he cursed aloud. He had no time to go and find them. He had to go and find Alex before things will get even messier than they already are.

Clint started the engines and got to work. The place wasn’t too far but he couldn't land too close, couldn't risk anyone finding out about the avengers being there. He had to walk all the way with his aching leg. He held his bow at ready, prepared for attack. He got inside the base, the place looked the same as the one in his world, big screens all over the place and big ugly machines.. Shit. The machine that got him to this world in first place had been just there. But..but he had to move...he had to remember the reason he's here. 

He searched the place again. His bow at the ready for, waiting for someone to attack any second. It was too quiet and empty, more suspicious than he liked. He searched all the rooms and nothing. The only place that left was the basement. Going down the stairs slowly, something wasn't right, it's still to quiet and to empty, what the hell hydra were planning, or had he been wrong and they weren't even there?

But his thoughts were cut when he heard crying coming from deeper in the basement. He ran down the stairs then. Right there, in the corner of the room sat Alex all over bruised and cut.

“Those bastards..what have they done to you..?” Clint knelt in front of him brushing his hand over the child's bruised face.

“You came..”Alex mumbled, crying quietly, moving himself from the corner slowly before throwing himself at Clint hugging him hard, like he was scared Clint was going to leave.

“Daddy you're here...you came to save me” the child sobbed.

Alex just called him what?

“Yes baby. I’m here. I’m gonna get you home now. But right now I need you to tell me why those bastards left you by yourself, what have they done to you?” Alex sighed and got closer to Clint.

“Its their plan. They knew the Avengers would come after me, so they activated a big machine with a very complicated name to block signal all over the area. They are all outside...they are gonna hurt poppa and everyone and…”

“Al calm down love. You know which of the machines they activated?” The child nodded then, standing slowly.

“It's upstairs. Come on, I’ll will show you.” Alex went up the stairs with Clint right after him, Alex then pointed at a big machine at the middle of the room.

“Okay then, where is the off button? Oh..there it is…” Clint then took the avengers comm he had “borrowed” from Bucky and tried it again, hoping for better results. Now that the machine was off it worked.

“If there's anyone who can hear me...this is a trap. They took Al to lure you here. But the fuckers didn't take me into acount. What with me being dead and everything..so ya..just ask Jarvis how to find us..oh forgot to tell you guys..Al is here and he's fine.”

“We are on are way.” Tony's voice came through the commes.

___________________________________________________________________

“Thank God you're okay!” Bucky ran straight to Alex and took him into his arms, hugging him tightly.

Clint stood there on the corner holding a box that contained his pass card home, looking at Bucky there with his son, and then the rest of the team coming in all sweaty and happy and…

He was not a part of it.

This is not his place, he can't just come here and take the place other Clint left empty, it isn't right.

He walked out of the base with a sigh, when they got back to the city he would ask Tony to fix the machine for him...he would go back to his universe and start a new life and…

“Clint.” Bucky came out after him, followed by Alex who hugged his leg when he got close to Clint.

“Oh hey…” He answered dumbly, looking anywhere but Bucky's eyes.

“Something is wrong with you.” He stated, keeping his poker face on, Alex looking at him big eyes wondering and said-

“Daddy. Are you hurt again? You need hospital?” His eyes filled with tears again and he hugged Clint's leg tighter. Bucky looked shocked then, grabbed Alex and walked away, toward the jet, the doors closing after him.

Clint didn't know what to do then. Everything had happened so fast and…what have he done wrong? What happened that made Bucky so angry at him? Maybe he had realised that Clint did nothing except attract troubles, that he's bad news. He’d let Loki control his mind, he’d let Steve die and...he have to get out of there, he cant stay...someone might get hurt again and it would be his fault and…

“Clint what's going on?” He heard a shout and then someone running over to him that's when he realised he’d collapsed on the ground shaking heavily, his breathing became a hard, then everything became dark.

___________________________________________________________________

 

Hospital, he hates hospitals. But what..happened, why is he there? He remembered his leg hurting and then having a panic attack, and then he remembered everything that had happened before as well.

He looked over the nightstand and found what he was looking for, his hearing aids set there in a little box. Turning them on got him back into control. He got out of the bed, found his gear, clothes, bow and arrows and thankfully the box that held the machine. He slipped out of the room ready to run away when he came face to face with Tony Stark.

“Did you really think we’d put you in a normal hospital? Especially since you died three years ago? Typical Barton.” He snorted. “You’re at my place, Bruce took good care at you. So, you going to tell me what is so important in that box of yours?”

“I...I found it at the Hydra base, it's the same machine that got me here.” He opened the box revealing the machine. Tony took it, holding it carefully and examining it.

“This piece of trash really worked?”

“Yeah, you think you can get it working again, so I can, you know?”Clint asked.

“Well, let me take it down to the shop, I’ll tune it up for you. Go back to bed, you look like hell Barton, no offence.” Tony walked to the elevator mumbling to himself (or Jarvis gods only knows).

Clint went back to the room deciding to take a shower. It had been a hell of a long day, all of his body ached, the warm water helped a bit. Standing there in the spray he got lost in his thoughts. That's it then, he would leave. He’ll go back to his apartment, pack his bag and leave. Maybe he’ll buy a little farm house, raise a cow and a few chickens...maybe grow some vegetables. It was too much for him, even for him. The Clint that always been appearing so funny, happy and dumb from the outside while inside he felt like shit. He couldn't hold everything inside again, he’d reached his limit.

He grabbed a towel, dryed off and got dressed again before sitting on the bed. Too tired to wander around the tower or even move. He wasn't in the mood to see the team. Clint just wanted Tony to finish his work and and get him back home…He can't cry, he is stronger then this...He won't let this weaken him.

There was a knock on the door and then the handle turned, the door opened and revealed no other then Bucky Barnes. He looked miserable, his eyes puffy and bloodshot.

“Tony said you found a way to go back to your world.” His voice was broken, a voice he have never heard from Bucky, and an expression on his face Clint had never seen before.

“Yeah...I won't bother any of you anymore, I’ll be out of your hair in no time.” He wanted it to be over already, he couldn't stand to talk to him.

“Clint...just listen to what I'm gonna tell you now...I should have done this days ago but I chickened out..the point is ..this world's Clint Barton wasn't just a good friend to me..he was...my husband.” Bucky stopped, took a deep breath and looked at the now shocked Clint. “That’s why I've got his old stuff all over my place that’s why I have Alex, who looks the same as he did. Watching him hugging you, calling you dad, god he lost his father so young…” He bit his lip trying to stop the tears that filled his eyes.

“I’m sorry he had to meet me then, and I'm sorry for you too, opening closed scars and..”

“I'm not here for an apology Clint don't you understand?” He shouted “nothing that happened is on you, it’s not your fault.” He cried closing the distance between them and hugging Clint tight.

“Bucky but…”

“I know, I know you are not my Clint just..let me hold you for a bit.” He laid his head on Clint’s shoulder, calming his breathing slowly.

“You can stay here, you don't have to go back to your universe. Al likes you and..”

Clint stopped the hug, pushing Bucky gently.

“You know I can’t do this to him, to you..to myself even. I can’t be your husband's replacement for god sake. Can’t you see how crazy is it? For a dead man to come back to life after three years?”

“We will think of something…” Bucky mumbled.

“Exactly my point! Crazy, and it’s me saying it...crazy…” He shook his head “I’m not him, you can't ask me to stay, it's a recipe for disaster, you can't ask me to be someone I’m not...I’m not him.”

“They..they don't want you there with them, they blame you for things that aren't your fault at all, just to stay clean. You can try to build your life here from the start, with us. Please Clint think about it.” His eyes and expression open and pleading. The man he knew from his world always had a poker face. This Bucky seemed perfect, and he liked him and Alex liked him and the Avengers too...why can't he just stay? Either decision he made would change his life drastically.

Jarvis interrupted his thoughts, telling him Tony was ready for him down at the shop.

Bucky looked at him, waiting for any move from Clint, he had to decide and fast…

That's it. Clint left the room, Bucky trailing after him.

Here goes nothing.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

for all the lovely ppl who have ideas for a sequel id like you to email me to zorides1@walla.co.il or as a message on my tumblr http://zorides.tumblr.com/  
id love to read everything youve got

 

http://zorides.tumblr.com/image/150026975345  
this fanart made by lovely @llamaqueen-makes-art shes great check her blog :)


End file.
